I haven’t published (blogged), or even written anything for a long, long while. Life, apathy and just plain lack of something to say very much got in the way, and to be fair I’ve never fancied myself as much of a writer or as someone with much to say anyway. And why would anyone care what I have to say? Surely most bloggers write to hear their own voices; to get some sense of importance or recognition for their writing?? I struggle to understand why people write and publish on a blog – it is not a job, you’re not getting paid, and often you don’t have anything new or original to say that hasn’t been said a thousand times by others and probably expressed better or more eloquently.
Do some people just feel the need to write more than others? Is it a way of expressing yourself or a way of reassuring yourself that you still exist, that your thoughts and opinions matter when you publish something? When I wrote the blog about our travels in America I told myself it was purely to document what we were doing, where we were going; a way of memorising and not forgetting most of what we experienced. So far I haven’t looked back at a single entry or read a single word of what I wrote in all those days and weeks that we spent on the road. Somehow writing about it made it more real but so far I don’t really need my blog to remember the trip. Maybe some day I will read it and maybe some day I won’t be embarrassed about exposing and potentially embarrassing myself in such a public way. You see, I am a very private person, so to put so much of myself out there is a very strange and counter-intuitive thing for me to do. Hell, I am in my 40’s and I still can’t get up in front of an audience of more than about 5 people to give a talk without breaking into a cold sweat and suffering heart palpitations. Essentially I am saying I have no idea why I have a blog anymore…
What I can say though is that I came across a blog yesterday called Kouevuur that touched me deeply, and at last gave me an inkling of why people blog. It is a blog that is written from the heart, original, funny and sad in turns, but most of all written very, very well. The sort of writing that I wish I could do. The sort of writing that keeps you interested and keeps you reading on and on. The writing of someone that has something to say and expresses it in a way that I’d like to be able to express myself. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that the writing is in Afrikaans, my taal, and that I haven’t really read anything written in Afrikaans in ages…and maybe it is a sign that I need to express myself in Afrikaans more often? Whatever it is, it made me realise that perhaps some people blog because they CAN write and have a way with words that makes other people identify with what they’re trying to say. Or maybe some people just really enjoy writing!?
I’ll leave you with a gratuitous picture of a young lion – just because I can!