I haven’t published (blogged), or even written anything for a long, long while. Life, apathy and just plain lack of something to say very much got in the way, and to be fair I’ve never fancied myself as much of a writer or as someone with much to say anyway. And why would anyone care what I have to say? Surely most bloggers write to hear their own voices; to get some sense of importance or recognition for their writing?? I struggle to understand why people write and publish on a blog – it is not a job, you’re not getting paid, and often you don’t have anything new or original to say that hasn’t been said a thousand times by others and probably expressed better or more eloquently.
Do some people just feel the need to write more than others? Is it a way of expressing yourself or a way of reassuring yourself that you still exist, that your thoughts and opinions matter when you publish something? When I wrote the blog about our travels in America I told myself it was purely to document what we were doing, where we were going; a way of memorising and not forgetting most of what we experienced. So far I haven’t looked back at a single entry or read a single word of what I wrote in all those days and weeks that we spent on the road. Somehow writing about it made it more real but so far I don’t really need my blog to remember the trip. Maybe some day I will read it and maybe some day I won’t be embarrassed about exposing and potentially embarrassing myself in such a public way. You see, I am a very private person, so to put so much of myself out there is a very strange and counter-intuitive thing for me to do. Hell, I am in my 40’s and I still can’t get up in front of an audience of more than about 5 people to give a talk without breaking into a cold sweat and suffering heart palpitations. Essentially I am saying I have no idea why I have a blog anymore…
What I can say though is that I came across a blog yesterday called Kouevuur that touched me deeply, and at last gave me an inkling of why people blog. It is a blog that is written from the heart, original, funny and sad in turns, but most of all written very, very well. The sort of writing that I wish I could do. The sort of writing that keeps you interested and keeps you reading on and on. The writing of someone that has something to say and expresses it in a way that I’d like to be able to express myself. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that the writing is in Afrikaans, my taal, and that I haven’t really read anything written in Afrikaans in ages…and maybe it is a sign that I need to express myself in Afrikaans more often? Whatever it is, it made me realise that perhaps some people blog because they CAN write and have a way with words that makes other people identify with what they’re trying to say. Or maybe some people just really enjoy writing!?
I’ll leave you with a gratuitous picture of a young lion – just because I can!
Biltong and Burger 
Ek dink in Engels sê ‘n mens “I am humbled by your kind words.” Baie dankie. I write because sometimes the words in my head get too much. I write because I cannot NOT write. I have always written. Before blogs, I wrote in black exercise books 😀 It helps me work through things that I sometimes do not understand in this world. And although my writing may possibly not change anything or make the world a better place, it might just touch someones heart and make them realise they are not alone out there, now that we are all connected so easily through the internet. Thanks so much for reading what I wrote.
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